The Top Ten Things Somone Moving to Atlanta Needs to Know to Live the Simple Life

I got this in a an e-mail, this morning from Dash (they publish the cirriculum we use for students). I thought it was funny and wanted to share it with you. It's an article by sturart hall. Here is the link as well

The Top Ten Things Somone Moving to Atlanta Needs to Know to Live the Simple Life

I have recently noticed that seemingly no one that lives in Atlanta is from Atlanta. My neighbor across the street moved here from San Francisco. My next-door neighbor hails from New York. When I asked them what motivated them to move to the Dirty South, one consistent phrase (apart from work) reared its head: They all wanted a more simple life. Not the Paris Hilton simple life, mind you, but one of less stress, more leisure time, and a lot less headaches.

As somewhat of a transplant myself (Alabama), I decided to create a Top Ten Things Someone Moving to Atlanta Needs to Know to Live the Simple Life list to keep at the ready for all the new neighbors. You can substitute these ten things for your fair city. Regardless of where, transitions are hard. Everyone wants to be accepted. And if your goal is simplicity of life and you too are a transplant, then this will help make the transition easy:

10. Never take visiting relatives or friends to the Stone Mountain Laser Show. They will (a) believe that the state of Georgia is considering succeeding from the Union again and (b) realize that some locals don’t realize the first Civil War is over…

9. Never taste test the Coca Cola products from the Middle East at the World of Coke unless you want to hurl…

8. Michael Vick is always hurt and loves bottled water…

7. Chick-Fil-A is the scientific term for “Christian chicken.”

6. GA 400 is a Southern term for “parking lot.”

5. Never say the words “Roll Tide!” very loud in public (substitute your school). Unless your pledge of allegiance includes Dawgs, Yellow Jackets, or War Eagles, you will be received as warmly as Michael Moore at the Republican Convention…

4. Ted Turner owns everything. If he doesn’t, Arthur Blank just bought it…

3. A start by John Smoltz at a Braves game equals game over. An appearance by the Braves in late October means that Satan is ice-skating…

2. If you attend NPCC, you are either an Andy Stanley fan or a Louie Giglio fan. You can’t be both…

1. Life is not that simple.

Life is not simple. Geography and grits will not help you evade unpredictable events and circumstances. The beauty of a fall day in north Atlanta will not quell the storms of life that almost always come. Times of tension will rain and reign for a time. The question for you and me is “What will we do with that tension?”

I used to wish that I could have the foresight to see those times beforehand. I even prayed that way. “God, give me Superman x-ray wisdom to see what is coming. I want to be ready.” I foolishly prayed that way until I realized that I really could not handle what I was asking of God. You and I cannot handle such foresight. For God to reveal that to us would be, in essence, God revealing Himself and all of His glory to us. My finite mind trying to understand the sum of the character and attributes of God is not exactly a promising event.

It is for this reason that men and women in the Old Testament could not look on the face of God. It is the reason why God placed Moses in the cleft of a rock: so He could pass by without Moses seeing His greatness in full. Moses only saw God’s back. Not His face. He could not see Him coming. He definitely saw Him passing.

I am learning to embrace the tension that bubbles to the top of my life. The principles of weight lifting are appropriate: Just because you have a weight bench, weights and work out clothes with a Swoosh on them does not mean you are getting stronger. You only get strong when you embrace the tension and get under the weight. That is where your physical muscle is sculpted. And that is where your faith muscle is sculpted as well.

There is something not so simple coming. Mark it down. And it will come to serve as tension in your life.

I am grateful for the back of God: Revelation in retrospect in the midst of unpredictable events. Sometimes the tension is almost unbearable. But it is making my faith so much stronger and life a lot less complicated.

And my neighbors are watching . . .