Do you ever have those days? You know the ones where you get stuff done and it is a good day, but you still feel as though you are simply existing...that you have little purpose or direction. I think today is one of those days. I have had a wonderful day with my family. We slept in, had a great breakfast, and hung out together this morning. Then Buck & I took Peyton to watch the NFL Draft...I know; we are nerds. Needless to say she slept through most of it. It was a nice afternoon out though. Then we came home and had dinner. Buck is teaching tomorrow so he has worked on that a bit. We have both read a little.
Still, we have pondered the same thoughts that we have so often over the last few years. God, is this what You want from us right now? Our family has been so blessed. We have a wonderful new daughter. She has wonderful family and friends, a great system of support to grow in. We love our home. We love the community we have found here. We love the vision of our church. We are financially more stable than ever. We are giving more away than ever. God is so good. But, we still wonder. Will God provide Buck with a ministry position again? If yes, will that be soon? Will we one day move far away again to pursue our dreams or will it be provided where we are? Can I continue to stay home with Peyton in our current situation?
I wouldn't say I am worried about these things as I have been in the past, I am just wondering. I have complete faith that God will provide...He has never failed me. I am just not sure what that will look like. Days like today are simple. Days like today make me wonder what is next. I guess days like today should make me pursue Christ even more...that I should remember to daily surrender all of me to Him...the Provider, my Savior, the Leader of my life.
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